Out with the Old, In with the New

I think it’s safe to say that even those that don’t equate themselves as empaths can feel the effects of some old, dark energy that no one has noticed before. If anything, I think most of us are becoming more aware of vibrations, our Mother Earth is doing her best to show us physically, as well. The best thing we can do, especially those of us that are empaths, is what some coaches/therapists/really great friends like to say: Stay in your own lane. By the way, I hate that I just said that, but if life has taught me anything, I’ve realized the importance of that right now. I have a tendency to save everyone in my path, to the detriment of my own “Self.”

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If you are struggling with something, focus on that, the rest of the world will adapt. All of the emotions you are feeling, feel them. No one has to approve of it. You don’t have to ask for permission. The only person you are responsible to and for is you. Mourning anything: a way of life, a death, a death of a way of life, anything that makes you want to cry or be sad, then follow it through. Sit with it. Accept it. Breathe it down, and let it go. The alienation you might feel is because you are changing and shedding skin is never easy. It’s been a tough few years for all of us. Ignoring it isn’t healthy, processing it is. That is how you move on from anything that brings you sadness or causes you to feel alienation.

Up to now, it’s been accepted that it is UNACCEPTABLE to feel your emotions, much less express them. Think about that for a moment and let it sink in. We have taught each other that it’s too inconvenient to sit with someone while they are sad. It’s too uncomfortable, so let’s just move on with the program. What do we with do with that? If you follow the theory that thoughts equal energy, logic dictates that we let it sit with us. Internally. Encompassing and weaving in and out of our organs and cells. We are taught to literally stomach those emotions that inconvenience others and make them feel some kind of way. It took me a while to realize that. Do you see that? Up to now, we’ve been taught to bend over backwards to make someone else feel comfortable over our very own emotions. Some of us do that to the very detriment of our “Self,” not realizing that by our responding to their needs, we are harming our own “Self” by voluntarily choosing to take care of their needs first. (I’m not even sure if that is an entirely coherent thought, I’ll check back later)

Now, who’s uncomfortable? Me.

I sit with it, internally, where it festers and dis-eases me. So, now I’m the one with the problem. Does that make sense? Right now, in this moment, I understand the concept, but not the logic. How do or did I do that? Rhetorical question here: When or how did it become acceptable to put my own needs/wants/aspirations on the backburner to accommodate everyone else? When were we taught to do that? I think I see it happening with others, but maybe I’m unique. Do you find you do this?

Here are two lessons I’ve learned in this very short year, thus far:

1. I set the tone for how others treat me, by not setting boundaries of acceptable behavior towards me. I can accept others wholly, while also setting healthy boundaries for how I’m treated.

2. I can begin to heal myself by not putting my own needs/wants/aspirations on the back burner to make others more comfortable. My being comfortable comes first. If others are uncomfortable with my level of comfortable, that is not my responsibility. I forgive me for my old habits. I forgive those who took advantage of it.

We are humans who are learning, after all.