I’m learning about the capabilities of transmuting dark into light. My journey, emotionally, through darkness and turning it into a gift from my benevolent Self. It’s what our lessons are for. Somewhere along the way, we became corrupted into thinking that we aren’t worthy of even our own love. Think about that for a second. When I realized this, I started feeling the effects of what I have done to my own sense of Self. Every single ache and pain I feel is because I neglected the parts of me that were screaming out for attention. I’ve moved past the “pity me, poor me” part and right into forgiveness. Forgiveness for the behavior and lack of mercy I have shown my Self.
Once I was able to flip all of the “I can’t take one minute more of this torture called life” into, what is this teaching me, it lead me along a spiritual path. When I started this blog, I thought it was going to initially be about my food journey. I’ve even taken all the photo documentaries to do it. Then the Reiki started kicking in. Kicking in to test me Spiritually and to dance in the cage with my Ego. Boy, that Ego. She’s something else. Not only do you dance with your very own emboldened Ego, you enter into a relationship of mirrors. If you aren’t ready for it and you enter the doorway, be prepared. Our lives are constantly and consistently operating in duality. I write all of this to over-explain my point of view. (It’s part of my lesson in recognizing it. Thank you for taking part).
If you haven’t noticed, I work in retrograde. It’s quite interesting from a scientific point of view.
Again, I digress. The steps I took to realize all of the above, led me to understand certain symbols and correlations in my life. My Mother was in love with lighthouses. She loved everything about them. If you look up the definition of a lighthouse, you will find it says the following:
Definition of lighthouse
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lighthouse. Accessed 14 Mar. 2020.
My Mom was a keeper of light. She fought a very long and hard battle to protect me. It may not be the version that I had pictured, but she got her wish, did she not? At some point in her treatment of me, her very Self wanted me alive. She WISHED for me to be alive and the Angels heard her song. Whether or not she followed through on her promise, grace was still bestowed upon her. I chose to bestow Grace upon her by coming back. Just because her journey didn’t look like what I wanted my journey to look like, doesn’t mean I should spend my days full of regret. She defended me in the best way that she knew how and I AM here. That is a gift to us both.
The gist of it is. Sometimes, our signals from our Self, from Spirit, from whatever or whomever you believe in outside of your sense of Self…sometimes those signals are quite literal. You could spend your entire life surrounded by lighthouses and not realize it until the light has burned out. It’s within that darkness that you learn how much you are grateful for the opportunity of it. No matter how you arrive there, or more importantly, how you got there isn’t the story. The moral to the story is as simple as being surrounded by light.
Be a Lighthouse.