Be Like a Butterfly.

What we don’t realize when we are raising our children, no matter if they are our children by birth or our culture, is that we are basing their limitations on our life experience. From my perspective, it’s when this happens that we give birth to some sort of deviant behavior. However, that then leads one to the definition of deviant behavior, and if you are like me, you could spin yourself into a philosophical tizzy. For purposes of this writing, I’m defining deviant behavior as behavior that is labeled as abnormal by general society.

Each of us, in one way or another, was brought up that ‘society’ looks down on any behavior that seems to attach itself to sin. Without realizing it, we are the ones who are creating the deviant behavior. When you attach negativity to things like sex or sexuality it can create an environment where suppression occurs, therefore an environment where deviant behavior thrives. Make sense? No? If you put a roomful of children together. Say, kindergartners. They are pretty innocent in their mindset, right? For the most part, life hasn’t rolled through like a cement truck and knocked the legs out from under them yet. They don’t know they are supposed to live life through the vision of their guardians yet. These children will play all day together. Black, white, brown, purple. It doesn’t matter. One boy may dress up as a girl. One girl may dress up as a boy. One girl may go put on makeup. Two boys may hug a lot. One boy and girl will hug a lot. Do you see the underlying meaning here? Not one of these children knows they are so different from one another that they are ashamed to be the very best version of themselves.

Photo by cottonbro on

You may think that this is just about transgendered and transvestite children. It’s not. It’s about how we as parents, mentors, guardians, and the like have so much power on the minds of those around us. Especially those that are vulnerable. We are their leaders, whether we like it or not. The current sadness, quirks, and things we see as our own deviations are put in place by those around us. I’ve realized I’m at fault in this, we all are. One of my greatest regrets in life is raising my child using some of the same limitations put upon me. She wanted to go try out for one of the singing shows once. We were in the prime place to do so. I regret talking her down from it. I was afraid that she would get up on stage and people would make fun of her. Had she ever been made fun of up to that point? Not that she ever said. I didn’t want what happened to me to happen to her. You see? I took that away from her based on my limited scope of life experience. Do I need to beat myself up about it? No. I need to forgive myself for it and improve upon it now because time is not lost.

It’s tough. It’s tough to chew up the fact that when we limit our mentees based upon our own life experience, we are actually telling them they are deficient. We aren’t allowing them to find and follow their true spirit. It’s not others who are definicient. It is us. When we, as a human, find strong emotion attached to how someone else chooses to live their own life, it is only highlighting where our own work needs to be done. If you hide behind a religious text as the reason for being angry that a man may dress like a woman, or vice versa, or there are others who live their lives differently than ours. Just because they choose to live differently than you, doesn’t give us the right to violate their rights, you know? That is a sin.

It is sinful, if you want to attach such a definition, to not live your life as your are naturally drawn to do so. It is a sin to not show and share your gifts with others so that they may learn from and also share their gifts to the world in the manner that they are meant to. Does that make sense to you? There has been this prevalent energy that we need to get angry at others who are different than us, but then we created it all in the first place. You know what I mean? There have been plenty of things in this world that I have been uncomfortable with, but I’ve had to learn about it. Anything that makes you afraid should also give you enough impetus to educate yourself about. That way, you aren’t operating in fear and negativity anymore. You are operating with working knowledge. It doesn’t mean because you make friends with others who are different than you, that makes you like them. No. It makes your world more colorful. They aren’t the ones with the problem anymore. You are.

Be more like a butterfly. Morph into that change.