When going through everyday life, it’s so much easier to walk through unconscious, in my experience. You don’t have to think about each step, each action. You just do it, right? This moment in time has created a change in me where I am actually fully aware and conscious of each vibration I make. I’ve become aware in each uncomfortable moment that I’m not as powerful over others as I thought I was. You may think to yourself, “Well, that’s a very egotistical statement.” You would be absolutely correct. In my healing process, I have stumbled upon the fact that I am only in control of my own actions, not anyone else’s.
If I keep attempting an action, in a supportive atmosphere, the action would create a reaction. If I keep going to your house and I ring the doorbell, most of the time, you are going to open the door. However, if I keep going to your house and ringing the doorbell, and I don’t get an answer, the information I’m receiving should relay the fact that you aren’t home. So, why would I keep going there? Maybe I give it a break for a bit and come back a couple of months later and try again, but this time, on the seventh or eighth attempt, someone answers the door. There is nothing wrong with attempting an action. However, if you are attempting an action just for the sole purpose of waiting for the second attempt AND the seventh or eighth knock, you have to ask yourself, is this representative of healthy? I’m going to venture it’s not. How many times do you cry or feel bad for each time that doorbell isn’t answered and look inward at what it is that’s wrong with you that they don’t want to answer?
That’s the problem with the ego. It’s likes to make it all about ‘me.’ Instead of asking “Why don’t they open the door to me?” perhaps the better question to ask is, “What door is open to me?” I can’t make someone open the door for me, no matter what I do. I am not so powerful as to be able to change another person’s mind or reaction to me, but I absolutely can affect my reaction. I can start focussing on the doors that are open to me that aren’t quite so difficult to open. I don’t know why it is, but I spent a whole lot of time focussed on all those doors that were closed to me. It was like I was a magnet for them. I had a special affinity for the ones with the most difficult locks and most beautiful exteriors. Life does not have to be that difficult, you know?
I appreciate and I’m grateful for those closed doors for teaching me how to better my vision and direction. I especially like the part in the chapter when I re-connected with my strength. As a reward to myself, I will curate and create the life that I want, to include the people, place and things that are naturally receptive to my energy because I deserve nothing less.
My goal in this post is to share with you the energy of the same freedom. You, too, deserve nothing less.